I can't believe we got him as our coach! He's the best!

[White Winmar]

There are certain things that will apply to the successful applicant. At the announcement of the coach's name, the president and CEO will gush out a few of the following points, deifying him in the process.

1. His presentation to the panel was extraordinarily good.

2. He was clearly the best candidate. Outstanding, in fact.

3. We can't believe we got a coach of his type and ability. Why wasn't he snapped up earlier?

4. He comes to us with an outstanding football pedigree.

5. He is enormously well respected in the football industry.

6 He's a communicator and a "people person".

7. He has an extraordinary football brain.

8. He is a tactician without peer. Probably the best strategist going around. After all, he did design and develop the game plan for....(insert any recently successful club)

So there it is. I'm going to play beer bingo when the first presser is held. I wonder how many of these will occur? Anyhow, I'll have a stubbie per correct answer.

In the end he will go the way of 95% of all other coaches. Sacked due to failure to deliver.

[BigMart]

Buy a six pack at least

[Dr Spaceman]

Or we could do something no club has ever done before.

"G'day, we'd like to introduce the new coach of the St Kilda Football Club (insert name here). Yeah it's a bit of a surprise but really there wasn't much to pick from. But anyway, he reckons he can do the job, and the team can't coach itself, so we sort of said "why not?".

(Insert name here) will start at the club on December 1 after he gets back from his holiday in Bali. It's not ideal but he had already booked it when the job came up and unfortunately the deposit was non refundable.

The Saints are really looking forward to 2012 and an exciting season of fast attacking football. Or slow, boring, defensive football. I'm sure we'll sort out a new game plan once (insert name here) sobers up after his holiday. Thank you."




:sarcasm:

[Iceman234]

Or we could do something no club has ever done before.

"G'day, we'd like to introduce the new coach of the St Kilda Football Club (insert name here). Yeah it's a bit of a surprise but really there wasn't much to pick from. But anyway, he reckons he can do the job, and the team can't coach itself, so we sort of said "why not?".

(Insert name here) will start at the club on December 1 after he gets back from his holiday in Bali. It's not ideal but he had already booked it when the job came up and unfortunately the deposit was non refundable.

The Saints are really looking forward to 2012 and an exciting season of fast attacking football. Or slow, boring, defensive football. I'm sure we'll sort out a new game plan once (insert name here) sobers up after his holiday. Thank you."




:sarcasm:

Spoken like a true Saint.

Spesshhaaaallllll.

[White Winmar]

Let's have another look at the announcement and see if we can get the truth out.


1. His presentation to the panel was extraordinarily good.
He managed not to shine his laser pointer into the eyes of those present.

2. He was clearly the best candidate. Outstanding, in fact.
He was the ONLY candidate!

3. We can't believe we got a coach of his type and ability. Why wasn't he snapped up earlier?
Because all of the other clubs looking for a coach had already completed their "processes" in appointing a coach.

4. He comes to us with an outstanding football pedigree.
His Great-Great Uncle played a senior game for Fitzroy in 1916, when most able bodied men were fighting overseas!

5. He is enormouslyl respected in the football industry.
For his ability to socialise after hours. No one can hold their drink or pull a bird the way our man can.

6 He's a communicator and a "people person".
He has no sense of self awareness or decorum, which is why he is not afraid to abuse you, especially in front of an audience.

7. He has an extraordinary football brain.
MRI scans recently revealed he actually has a Sherrin Footy where his brain should be.

8. He is a tactician without peer. Probably the best strategist going around. After all, he did design and develop the game plan for....(insert any recently successful club).
He's been sacked from his 3 previous teams for stealing their intellectual property and selling it for some tidy sums. Claims it was all his work. Truth is, he is a plagiarist!

[Enrico_Misso]

Don't forget to rave on and on about the extensive and rigorous "process" that we went through to ensure we had a coach that "ticked all the boxes" and was of "outstanding character".

[Dr Spaceman]

"We had a few possibilities.

But we checked with Paul Roos and he reckons this guy could possibly work with our CEO, so we picked him"

[Winmarvellous]

They got it right last time....

[satchmo]

Why don't we just offer ross 2mil pa, and surely he'll come back?

[Dr Spaceman]

Why don't we just offer ross 2mil pa, and surely he'll come back?

He just needs 72 hours to think about it

[tweedaletomanning]

Let's have another look at the announcement and see if we can get the truth out.


1. His presentation to the panel was extraordinarily good.
He managed not to shine his laser pointer into the eyes of those present.

2. He was clearly the best candidate. Outstanding, in fact.
He was the ONLY candidate!

3. We can't believe we got a coach of his type and ability. Why wasn't he snapped up earlier?
Because all of the other clubs looking for a coach had already completed their "processes" in appointing a coach.

4. He comes to us with an outstanding football pedigree.
His Great-Great Uncle played a senior game for Fitzroy in 1916, when most able bodied men were fighting overseas!

5. He is enormouslyl respected in the football industry.
For his ability to socialise after hours. No one can hold their drink or pull a bird the way our man can.

6 He's a communicator and a "people person".
He has no sense of self awareness or decorum, which is why he is not afraid to abuse you, especially in front of an audience.

7. He has an extraordinary football brain.
MRI scans recently revealed he actually has a Sherrin Footy where his brain should be.

8. He is a tactician without peer. Probably the best strategist going around. After all, he did design and develop the game plan for....(insert any recently successful club).
He's been sacked from his 3 previous teams for stealing their intellectual property and selling it for some tidy sums. Claims it was all his work. Truth is, he is a plagiarist!

Not Bad

[ace]

You forgot
9. We could only afford peanuts, but this monkey is happy to work for peanuts.
10. We tried to Malthouse but he retired instead, because we and most other clubs can't afford gold pressed latinum.

[bobmurray]

Malthouse is morphing into Sheedy......

that's what a lifetime of coaching does to you....


should be used as a warning to prospective coaches

[MCG-Unit]

11. Decision was unanimous

[SainterK]

12. Due dilegence

[Enrico_Misso]

13. He comes with a character reference from Jamed Hird

[vacuous space]

14. He's Scott Cummings. No one else applied.