I just wrote this for fun, tell me what you think.

[sainter27]

Ladies and gentlemen there is a new messiah in town! And a new religion. Jesus and Christianity need top take a back seat, and so does Allah and every other inspiring religious great that so many believe. The new religion is Malthusism and the leader is a bloke called Mick. He is a messiah, and a football coach, but he can do no wrong. I have never seen him make a single mistake. He has never admitted a single mistake.

He has coached Footscray, the Eagles, and Collingwood and has been perfect. Perhaps he hasn’t won premierships at all those clubs. Well not with Footscray and Collingwood, but he triumphed twice with West Coast. The fact that it was a period when the best Western Australians were not allowed to play in Victoria, is just circumstantial. Don’t know why Ted Whitten got so excited about beating the Western Australians on that June night at the WACA? Do you reckon he thought that game was a gimme for the Vics? Ted Whitten? Mr Football? Not a chance in hell.


But Mick was brilliant for the Eagles. Been better for the Pies. Got there in 2000. Made a strong impact immediately. A granny in 2002 and again in 2003. Got killed in 2003 as favorites’ but that can happen. Wasn’t Mick’s fault. Kept going Mick, he has the record and the stats to back him up, he also had a state of the art training facility years before other clubs, a supply of assistant coaches similar to the amount of attorney’s that work at Crane, Poole and Schmit, and a football department budget that rivals the amount that was assigned to the armed services during the Bush administration.

Despite this, he hasn’t won a premiership at Collingwood yet. Doesn’t matter though, he has only in his 11th season. This year is the one. Jolly and Ball have been recruited. Couple of stars there. Ball really benefited from the high-altitude camp in Arizona. He can kick it 37 metres now, much better than the 36 he got at the Saints. Let’s not comment on the wind conditions.

Cant’ believe Mick’s Collingwood just lost to the Saints. This is Mick’s 11th year celebration. Surely this year won’t be ruined. The Saints are a great side, without doubt. Even without their captain, match-winner, and star. At quarter-time Mick approached his huddle, but his players were interested in brawling with some troublesome Saints. How dare those Saints? As tempers flared the messiah did step in. He told Stephen Milne just what he thought of him. And a few of the other Saints.

Mick was simply serving deliverance.

He can do that.

He is a messiah.

But despite his deeply meaningful words, Collingwood still could not beat the Saints. But that doesn’t matter. It has happened so often for Mick in the past that he palms it off. Blames everyone but himself. Intimidates, embarrasses, looks down at those who seek to question him.

And so they don’t.

There is no case to answer for quarter-time. Mark Robinson, Mike Sheehan, Damien Barrett, Hudson, Lyon, Frawley, Shaw, Parkin, Dunstall. They accept what the messiah says as gospel. I suppose there is not much wrong with that. Mick wouldn’t lie would he? The messiah would never deceive? Jim Jones, Wayne Bent, Di Mabro, Applewhite, Koresh, even George Bush.

They knew best.

It is football, and not life, but Malthousism now reins. A football religion.
And Mick is our humble leader!


Disclaimer: If you can't tell, I am not a fan of Mick's religion.

[Solar]

can you make that into say three paragraphs and I will read it, otherwise it gives me a headache

[benengel14]

can you make that into say three paragraphs and I will read it, otherwise it gives me a headache

agreed.

[Toy Saint]

Plenty in the footy world are beginning to realise Malthouse's time is up. The Sainter27 rant says what I feel, but gee, it's pretty hard to read. I'm with Solar here, break it up into three or four paragraphs, and give the post a relevant subject line.

[iwantmeseats]

tl dr