The Flux Report: Special's Round

[AeonFlux]

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Hard to believe that the Tigers have lost 3 games on a row, all by decent margins. Last week they had a bye and they’ve made 7 changes.

If that’s not a recipe for a rusty start, don’t know what is!

So that’s why I’m assuming we will win the first term - our boys will do our standard chest heaving after a big loss, big review.

I still think it will all fall apart after half time, when they’re massive quality difference will come to the fore and they’ll win by 30 points.

Final score: Saints 9.12 to Tigers 15.6

Actual Final score: 10.10 to 16.7




So, there you had it all in a nutshell Sainsationalists.

We all could have saved a lot of grief if we’d just listened to Special, and taken the day off.

Which is what we’ve done.

No need for a Flux Report.

Thanks Special.







Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, TRUE DECEIVERS?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?


- Aeon.

Pop goes the weasel I'm voting Flux next time unless we can get Kinky to immigrate to Oz .

Flux yeah!

*

[AeonFlux]

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Ok, since the analysis committee was meeting anyway.........





This week's analysis Committee:
- Catherine. (Entertaining everyone. Quite the hostess. Brought takeaway again. Chowder again, followed by the chunky custard for dessert, again. Mmmmmmmm.)
- Aaron. (Back, for the chunky custard, again. Not such a fan of the chowder though, again.)
- Saxons. (RosKilda’s favourite poster/s. He'd never go to Shanghai, but he’d go to Tassie. Coal mining country!)
- BornAgainNorwegianTed12. (Everyone’s favourite Norwegian internet troll and emerging young fiction writer. )

I'm a troll.

- Parquetrysainter. (Still just like Ted).
- king9. (Girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!)
- toni1975 (tony1975’s hot little sis’. More girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!)
- HarrietM (HarryM’s hot little sis’. Even more girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! You can’t have too much girl power!)
- Owen.
- BFTNorway - Simon the Troll Hunter.




Missing:
- Rodger. <swoon> Come back Rodger! We can get Kinky for you too.
- Vaas Montenegro. (Still working on his 'mailing list' - Gil McLaughlin. viewtopic.php?f=1&t=98453#p1797985 )
- Mr Cuddly Duck. (Should be posting back here, not posting over on Big Floppsy. Come home Huggie.)
- Sainter K. (Where are you?)
- Jaffa Boy/Straw Man/Concern Troll. (Still fighting with himself/himselves. Needs to get a room with himself/himselves. )
- Corey Bernardi. (Left the party early. )


Welcome back :
- True Believer. (Saintsational's favourite prisoner of conscious, and airport lounge flash mob Irish dancer.)


- Loris. (Welcome back Loris! Btw, how are you progressing with the ‘Kinky Friedman Crime Club’? ‘God Bless John Wayne’? Too early to know yet if there’s going to be a butler.)

Taxis are like women, or horses, or happiness, or money, or pet parakeets. If you pursue them with great ardour you’ll never have them. If you honestly don’t give a damn they’ll very often light right on your shoulder, in which case the pet parakeet is, of course, preferable.

... ... . ... ....





Assessment :

The Paper Tigers are not a great team! Then, from that starting point,
- take out their one-man backline in Rance.
- take out Jack R,
- and till he tired, Snowy hung Lynch (out to dry) - so they effectively had no key forwards
- the Dustbin had a middling 25 possies at a very ordinary 50% efficiency.
- Cotchin was solid, but no more.
- we had the same number of inside 50s.
- to amused themselves, they spotted us a 3 goal start..............

Yet...................... we still lost by over 5 goals!!!!!!

F^^k.

Sideways and backwards is Richo’s trademark.
Once the opposition gets everyone back, then it’s time to boot it long to 2 on 5 contests.

Sign him up for 20 years whilst we still can!

Where the f*** was the belief? Why couldn't we put them to the sword in that 3rd quarter?

I don't think it was lack of belief, it was a lack of system. Again.

We held on to the ball well, passing it around, mixing the tempo but we just didn't have the radar. Not looking, missing opportunities, kicking (not-miskicking) to bad situations. I get what they are trying, but Richmond just clogged up their options and just waited for the pressure to build.

So, in the second half (actually from the second half of the second quarter) Richmond goes the mega flood, knowing that we lack the creativity/patience/dare/pick your term to resist just handing the thing over to them. They then relied on getting their goals from slingshot turnovers. Seemed to work. We didn’t seem to cotton on.

QU: So, knowing this, why didn’t we set up to cover that????
ANSWER: Look into our choaching box.

To me it's pure coaching genius. WOW!

Another bizarre 'motivational' address to players from <the definite article deleted by Mods Cho:
Didn't do the players much good, but the WAGs seemed to like it.

F^^k.

How to pick up chicks.





This makes no sense:

....and a piece from another

The loss also keeps the pressure on Richardson, as the inexperienced coach attempts to hang on to his job for 2020 and beyond.

So, lets get this straight. 10+ years in various assistant choaching roles, and now 6 years as senior choach, yet <the definite article deleted by Mods> is being referred to as ‘inexperienced’???

This makes no sense.

What is your point about the AFL article then?

This makes no sense..............or does it???





For the TRUE DECEIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
The new Hole in the Ted gang.

Nothing has changed.

This is interesting though, in a bad way (from the article last year)....

STRUGGLING SAINTS (rounds 1-11)
Total Rank
Percentage 71.7 16th
Points For 68.3 16th
Points Against 95.2 15th
Shot at Goal Accuracy % 43 16th
% Time in Front 15 17th
Quarters Won 12 17th
Scores from Turnover Diff. -17.4 14th
Scores from Stoppages Diff. -7.1 16th

This year, we average 73 Points For, and are 15th. We've improved only 1 position in this stat.

We now average 88 Points Against and are 14th. Again, we've only improved 1 position in this stat.

And this is where the media are missing the point on Cho. Last year, only being 1 position worse in both that numbers resulted in a 1-10 start to the season. This year, it looks like 6-7 due to our Draw and some good fortune.

Clearly this is Alan's fault and he needs to go NOW!

And not forgetting the fallacy of the 'what about our injuries' excuse.
AFL injury ladder. https://www.afl.com.au/news/2019-06-06/ ... g-the-odds

A genuine True Believer could not possibly be happy with that!!!

Oh well. Keep embracing the mediocrity. At least we'll probably keep winning a flag every 140-odd years or so. Carry on.





Post of the week:

Mon amie Monsiur True Believer il la raison. Le Cho doit partir!

Insight of the week:

Coaching might have hurt us today.

Comeback of the week:
We haven’t featured one in a while.

Geez you ask a lot of questions Bazza.

To the OP, guess we will find out at about 3pm this arvo if the troops care or not.

ok, so you are saying they don't care ?

The Mailbag:

You might have to explain what a clubman is.

Have received some correspondence from a Mr He’sHiMan in Cairns. He asked the analysis committee “What a clubman is.” No one knew. So the word was put out to our resident recently released prisoner of conscience and airport flash mob Irish dancer, True Believer.

TB replied, that the first answer for most people would be that it’s a model of the Mini. However, for true believing Aussies with a heart of V8 and no respect for boring contemporary norms..............it’s an Elfin.



Thanks TB. And hope that answers your question Mr He’sHiMan from Cairns.

"Which year did the same side win both the wooden spoon and the premiership”?

At least we think that's what he asked - was written on the back of the postage stamp. Anyway, over to you Trev. Can you help Mr waynecarey with that one?





Stuff to ponder/this doesn’t add up:

Its great that everyone played so well and all were very pleased. Given that we lost by 5 goals , I guess the rest contributed very little.

Or maybe it does(?)






Stuff to like:
- Paddy didn't get concussed again. (We think.............?)
- Joe King didn't hurt his knee again. (We think.............?)
- Snowy’s game - till he tired.
- Seb’s disposal efficiency up to 67%. Must have concentrated harder.
- The Marshall. Gives us an extra on-baller, a marking option around the ground, a forward marking option. That’s worth 3 players over Billy No Stats.






Stuff to not like:
- Why Paddy didn't (and can't) get concussed again.
- Why Joe King didn't hurt his knee again.
- Snowy’s game after he tired. Though that’s still to be expected. Also raises the issue of why <the definite article deleted by Mods) Cho didn’t have a Plan B for this.
- Seb’s disposal efficiency up to 67%. Why doesn’t he concentrate harder as his norm???
- Josh the Bruce? Are we playing another injured player? Again?
- Why did it take <the definite article deleted by Mods) Cho so long to work out the difference between playing the Marshall and playing Billy No Stats?

F^^k times 6.

List management 101.1.2 - Free agents and out of contract players:
Recent Fluxed Reports have dealt with coaching appointments, list management strategy, and management of the current list. This week's topic is scouting.

The whole competition is a boys club...players included.

It’s almost impossible to get drafted unless you attend an independent school.

The afl use independent schools as a recruiting mechanism, they are effectively the cookie cutter that is producing the modern day footballer.

The boys club at work again, but that’s life isn’t it?

Just spoke with a couple of ex-AFL footballers at the ABS. The current 2019 figures are
Government schools 65.7%
Catholic 19.7%
Independent 14.6%.

That's 85.4% of potential footballers don't go to independent schools.
Yet that's where the recruiters concentrate....
Can anyone see an opportunity.....?

Absolutely.

Report on The Ted Report:
You can't get too much of a good thing!

Which is why there is no Ted Report this week.






And this week’s handy tip:
Paper Tigers, as you would have noticed, someone has graffitied your Dustbin. But the good news is that Yarra Council has a free programme for graffiti removal from private property.






Opposition player to bag:
- Speaking of the Dustbin. 25 disposals is a pass mark. But at only 50% efficiency??? Ian Stewart Medal winner? Seriously? (Or did he win based on something we don’t know, but that’s related to his ‘dress-sense’.......? )
- Never forgetting Jamie 'seagull' Cripps!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
We’re still maintaining the rage!!!!!! Traitor!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Down hill skier. Soft. Has pace and is a good shot at goal but easily replaced.
Looks good in a team with a strong midfield
Loves bruise free footy.

- Joel Smith – another traitor!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

Shove that up your <edit by mods>!

Next week away from Linton Lodger Stadium:
- The forward line is still too short. Again. (Though that didn't bloody stop the bombing. Again. )
- Brown must come back. Should never have been dropped.
- Snowy to CHB.
- Battle up forward to give us that missing third marking option. Just watch Bruce (if fit?) and Members being freed up then. And Battle forward would also give someone who can actually kick straight on goal.

INS:
Options we're considering/not considering.................
- Brown!!!
- White. (Won’t happen though. Especially now that <the definite article deleted by Mods) Cho has finally got 'those' pictures from Newnes.)
- Rice! (Get him in! And don’t waste him as a BS ‘defensive forward’. And give him some time in the guts too!!!)
- Vidovic. (To give the Marshall a chop out. And to give any passengers a chop up at the Saudi embassy of their choice. )
- BAcres. (In. Into the bloody middle!!!)
- Langlands. (We still hear ya Saynta. )

F^^k yeah!

OUTski:
- Sinclair.
- MacKenzie.

Stay OUT!!!:
- Newnes.

We can spare you.

On notice:
- Parker.
- Seb. (Three bloody words to you Seb. Bloody disposal. Bloody efficiency. Bloody concentrate!!!!!!!!! !!!!! )


Stiff as a badger’s ass (whatever that means? ):
Brown, White, Joyce and Langlands, for starters.
Newnes. (Losing ‘that’ picture of <the definite article deleted by Mods> Cho. Surely you’d have made a backup copy Jack? Maybe Kim D or Gilbo’ can help you out there.......?)




Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, TRUE DECEIVERS?

Thoughts, le Cho?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?


- Aeon.

Pop goes the weasel I'm voting Flux next time unless we can get Kinky to immigrate to Oz .

Flux yeah!

*

[Linton Lodger]

Rumour has it, Vaas Montenegro has temporarily postponed his JO mission, to brainstorm other more pressing matters.

Vaas feels it is vital that he takes steps to compel the Club to:

* Ensure Brown and White are automatic inclusions and that Battle (or Carlisle) are moved forward.

* Ensure that Hannebery, Gresham and Acres spend more time in the guts of battle.

Whilst, having noted North's resurgence under Shaw, he implements measures to stop Brad Scott from becoming our Coach.

Vaas is currently devoting all his focus and attention to determining a strategic plan to achieve the above.

[guitars4]

Hey Fluxie Lady still love your work & I will still have a look a laugh but I'm over the SS site I might just give you a wink every know & then to show I still appreciate quality & to quote Don Chipp "Keep keeping the bastards honest"

[AeonFlux]

Hey Fluxie Lady still love your work & I will still have a look a laugh but I'm over the SS site I might just give you a wink every know & then to show I still appreciate quality & to quote Don Chipp "Keep keeping the bastards honest"

Or you could take an alternative approach, and paraphrasing Robert Brown............
Not keep the bastards honest... replace the bastards. (I.e.; keep posting here.)

Absolutely!

- Aeon.





PS: Guitars, the word is the you have a Saintsational personal message. It's whispered to be linked to fellow lovers of guitars. At least, that's what we're hearing. See what you think.