Heavy tackles to be penalised: Anderson

[Riewoldting]

http://www.afl.com.au/Season2007/News/N ... wsId=49334

HEAVY TACKLES TO BE PENALISED: ANDERSON

6:58 PM Sat 18 August, 2007
By Jennifer Witham
Exclusive to AFL BigPond Network

THE Australian Football League will trial a new rule during next year's NAB Cup preseason competition restricting to a select few the players on whom tackles can be laid.

In a move that is sure to raise the ire of the game's purists, the league is proposing to introduce a law of the game whereby a player may not lay a tackle on another player over whom he has a body weight advantage of more than 20 per cent.

AFL football operations manager Adrian Anderson said the planned rule change was designed to stamp out what had become "a blight on the game".

"Too often we see big, burly players tackling smaller, lighter players and really hurting them, really causing them a lot of pain," Anderson said.

"In our opinion, those heavier players are taking advantage of a loophole in the laws of the game that does not make it an offence to grab a player in possession of the football somewhere between the shoulder and the knee and throw him into the turf.

"Well, I like to think that we are an enlightened, modern sport, and it's time to send a message to these rogues that such brutish behaviour will not be tolerated."

Under the new rule - which could be brought in as early as Round 1 2008, if the trial proves successful - players tackling a player who they outweigh by more than 20 per cent of the tackled player's body weight will be penalised.

St Kilda forward Fraser Gehrig, who weighs in at a leviathan 106 kilograms, laid a devastating tackle at today's match at Telstra Dome on 88-kilogram Fremantle beanpole Scott Thornton.

Because Gehrig weighs 20.45 per cent more than Thornton, under the new rule he would immediately have a free kick paid against him, despite Thornton having had prior opportunity and failing to correctly dispose of the football.

"I watched Gehrig monster Scotty Thornton today, and let me tell you, I was ashamed to be associated with the sport," Anderson said.

"I was volunteering at the Sunny Pines Nursing Home in Cheltenham in a shameless attempt to redeem myself with the Almighty so that I am not immediately sent to the depths of hell on Judgment Day.

"When Gehrig tackled the plucky Thornton, gasps of horror went up in unison from those watching the big match on the television in the day room."

Anderson said he heard a chorus of "tut tuts", "tsks" and "lovely boys" from those viewing the match.

He said one resident grimaced so hard at the sight of Thornton's albino melon striking the playing surface that she threw out her back and had to go to her room for a Horlicks and a nice lie-down.

"Another old dear was so disgusted by Gehrig's conduct that she proceeded to vomit her lunch all down her lap," Anderson continued.

"As I gingerly sponged half-digested imitation schnitzel and frozen peas from her frock, she gestured for me to come nearer.

"'Please, Adrian' she whispered, 'please do something to stop the violence. Our lovely, lovely boys. You must stop the horror. Only you have the power, Adrian. I beg of you, please, stop the violence.'

"Who am I to refuse her?"

In order to enforce the new rule, field umpires will be supplied with a card containing a table of weight ratios between all 44 players named for a given match.

It is expected that umpires would try to memorise the table in the rooms before the match. In the event that an umpire could not recall whether the tackling player outweighed the tackled player by more than 20 per cent, he would simply guess (similar to the manner in which many free kicks are currently paid).

Anderson said the convoluted means of enforcing the new rule was a small price to pay for allowing light, fleet-of-foot runners with an athletics background to play a possession-based "Chippolotto" game, unaccosted by monsters who might be tempted to tackle them into the dirt.

And he said the league would not hesitate to prescribe much heavier sanctions where the difference in weight between the tackling player and the tackled player was deemed to be "grossly disproportionate".

"A good example would be Anthony Rocca (108kg) tackling Matthew Lappin (78kg). In that scenario the umpire would be well within his rights to impose a 50-metre penalty and a report for unduly rough play in addition to a free kick," Anderson explained.

"If Aaron Sandilands were to tackle Brent Harvey, we would have no alternative but to abandon the game and immediately notify the police."

[Brian Collis]

Personally I think it's the rule change we need.

[duckduckduckgoose]

hahahaha
you had me going until:
"Under the new rule - which could be brought in as early as Round 1 2008, if the trial proves successful - players tackling a player who they outweigh by more than 20 per cent of the tackled player's body weight will be penalised."

very nice, lets hope life NEVER imitates art when it comes to this!

[luke.l_26]

"I watched Gehrig monster Scotty Thornton today, and let me tell you, I was ashamed to be associated with the sport," Anderson said.

He should be ashamed for even thinking of introducing such a rule...
I mean, comon seriously. The umps already have issues counting 30 seconds at a set shot, how the heck do you expect them to figure out if this player weighs 20% more than the next player. and so what if stat cards are used. if a big player tackles a "smaller" player, the umps are expected to "guess". oh yeah, guess the free kick like they guessed god-knows how many holding the ball frees today. Cos that REALLY works.
Personally, I think if you're gonna be playing AFL, you know what is expected on the field.
You step out onto the field. The minute you do that, you take the risk, that something could happen to you. If ya don't wanna get hurt, don't play the sport, it's as easy as that.

makes me laugh at what this idiot wants to do to the sport.

[Brian Collis]

"I watched Gehrig monster Scotty Thornton today, and let me tell you, I was ashamed to be associated with the sport," Anderson said.

He should be ashamed for even thinking of introducing such a rule...
I mean, comon seriously. The umps already have issues counting 30 seconds at a set shot, how the heck do you expect them to figure out if this player weighs 20% more than the next player. and so what if stat cards are used. if a big player tackles a "smaller" player, the umps are expected to "guess". oh yeah, guess the free kick like they guessed god-knows how many holding the ball frees today. Cos that REALLY works.
Personally, I think if you're gonna be playing AFL, you know what is expected on the field.
You step out onto the field. The minute you do that, you take the risk, that something could happen to you. If ya don't wanna get hurt, don't play the sport, it's as easy as that.

makes me laugh at what this idiot wants to do to the sport.

The way around this would be to select a team of midgets under 70kgs. Can't see how we could lose. A true visionary is that Pamela Anderson

[duckduckduckgoose]

um so i take it satire isnt your strong suit luke?

[luke.l_26]

um so i take it satire isnt your strong suit luke?

eh?
I'm confused... am is the article taking the piss or am i just stupid?

EDIT:
Oh right.
I get it.
sorry. been away from the place a little too long.
have to learn to start picking up on the sarcasm that goes around here again....

[bigcarl]

um so i take it satire isnt your strong suit luke?

[midas_touch]

I seriously hope this is a piss take article...if not, so help us all.

[skeptic]

lol, i read the first 1/2 of that with a look of utter contempt on my face b4 i figured out it was a joke... it's written very journalistically until u quote Anderson

[luke.l_26]

lol, i read the first 1/2 of that with a look of utter contempt on my face b4 i figured out it was a joke... it's written very journalistically until u quote Anderson

haha well, that's the trouble i had...
Doesn't help when I have a habit of just reading half... then forming an opinion alread!

[Gabba]

Anderson is an absolute joke.

[Spinner]

Very nice work.


U had me there for about half of it......Great stuff.

[Falchoon]

http://www.afl.com.au/Season2007/News/N ... wsId=49334


"When Gehrig tackled the plucky Thornton, gasps of horror went up in unison from those watching the big match on the television in the day room."

damn straight, none of them had ever seen Gehrig lay a tackle before or since.....

[Oh When the Saints]

Brilliant work Riewoldting.

You had me until:

"I was volunteering at the Sunny Pines Nursing Home in Cheltenham in a shameless attempt to redeem myself with the Almighty so that I am not immediately sent to the depths of hell on Judgment Day.

[Liam_G]

Excellent stuff Riewoldting, Brilliant!

[battye]

Brilliant work Riewoldting.

You had me until:

"I was volunteering at the Sunny Pines Nursing Home in Cheltenham in a shameless attempt to redeem myself with the Almighty so that I am not immediately sent to the depths of hell on Judgment Day.

Yeah, me too.

Great write up! Very funny!

[rogerwa]

started reading the first couple of lines & thought wtf going on now

brilliant stuff roo...pyssing myself

[WinnersOnly]

I can understand this being an issue in Under 8 Aus kick games but this is adults playing men v men. Bigger is not always better and that is something that has always been the great leveller in football. Anderson has obviously never played the game and is that out touch it is scary...

[SteveStevens66]

A fantastic piece of writing!!! Satire is a difficult art form. You did it beautifully. Congrats.

And what makes satire work is the possibility that it might be true. The AFL in its infinite idiocy and corruption now makes it possible for us to believe that there is nothing they won't do to the game.

[battye]

I can understand this being an issue in Under 8 Aus kick games but this is adults playing men v men. Bigger is not always better and that is something that has always been the great leveller in football. Anderson has obviously never played the game and is that out touch it is scary...

Another one who obviously hasn't read the whole post...

[markinUSA]

I knew it was fake when I read the line "As I gingerly sponged half-digested imitation schnitzel and frozen peas from her frock"... I cannot imagine Anderson ever actually giving hands on help to anyone. So I knew the rest couldn't be true.

[OneEyedSainter77]

Lol, another great piss take article Riewoldting, Kudos! ..... I was actually in disbelief from the first sentence and thought (maybe hoped) "This has to be a piss take" then scrolled down to see what others wrote... very good job!

[fonz_#15]

an absolute cracker riewoldting
really havea way with words

[Leo.J]

The funny but sad thing about this is that as the AFL and the rules commitee are such a joke atm, alot of people actually believe this.

Some of the current rule interpretations are as farcical as this proposed rule anyway.